Scam Update

I need to keep tight tabs on my wins/losses for my backers, so here's a scam update for everyone who's interested (the list is long and distinguished, I'm sure).

since the transfer on Thursday, 7/19:

$25-6: 408 hands, 27/17/9, +$31.89

$50-6: 172 hands, 22/14/5.5, +$40.85

My WTSD is pretty low on both at 16% and 15% respectively, but my W$SD is pretty solid at 41% and 86% (obv this won't hold).

I get a feeling now how bad live 1/2 is. $50-6 has to be the same animal. absolutely atrocious poker. it's wonderful. I actually played a guy last night that as SOOOOOO poor, I fired a 3-barrel bluff on him with Q-high because I was absolutely sure he'd fold the river, and he did.

I'll keep posting hands for analysis in the NL section. I have a few, but I'm tired now and off to the beach in the morning, so no poker until Monday night. sigh...

if anyone who threw in wants more info, HHs, or anything, just ask. I'm an open book right now.

If I ever write a movie script (which I have every interest in doing and not one iota of the ambition) it's going to be about 2 bad guys who do bad things. The bad guys will be awesome and I already have them cast:

Wes Studi and Billy Drago

Wes Studi is best known as Magwa, the psycho killer indian in Last of the Mohicans. Billy Drago was the psycho killer Italian in The Untouchables, the psycho killer Colombian Drug Lord in Delta Force 2, and the generic psycho killer bad guy in Invastion USA.

Seriously the complete and utter baddassishness and hell-wrecking the two of them could lay on the world is astounding. Simply awefuckingsome.

In the movie the two of them will likely drive around in a Z-28 with Uzis and shoot old ladies. They might even hold up a Wal-Mart because I fucking hate Wal-Mart. I also want Wes Studi to rock some old School Muddy Waters.

I have a tough time seeing how any movie could touch this in badassery. I'll probably add a squad of Russian cyborg terrorists as well, that way the Wes and Billy can fuck up the Cyborgs and end the movie with everyone loving them. After the credits roll, they'll take off in the Z-28 and shoot an old lady in a walker and both give the camera a Devilish Wink.

I'm shitting myself thinking about this. So damned awesome... Find ideas like THIS in The +1er, you will not.

There's lots of reason for excitement at Crodafied these days. Let's enumerate them:

1) Sucko and Stoner running well at the ME. Sucko's had one small lapse and the poker gods keep trying to fuck stoner with his own ponytail, but he's dodged bullet after bullet and still has a good stack to work from. Crodafied's proud of it's brethren and will be adding links to their blogs here shortly.

2) A large number of people have contributed to a fund to stake yours truly at some 25$ and $50 NL. this is one helluva gesture and I fully intend to tear the heavens down upon my adversaries to honor this.

3) The proprietor of The +1er seems to think this is a copycat blog. Rubbish! Poppycock! Comparing the content of the two makes it plain that we blog about all manner of ridiculousness while The +1er contains itself to one strict type of ridiculousness. If you haven't checked out The +1er lately, you should. It's got its amusing parts, but lets be honest...it can't hold a candle.

blog days of summer

Catchy title, eh? I came up with it myself. What's funny about it is that it rhymes with 'dog days of summer' except I used blog...in a blog! Fucking tits, baby.

Poker News:

I suck ass. Royally. People catch on me. I don't catch on them. Somehow I've managed to turn a $50 deposit nearly 3 yrs ago into, well, 3 yrs of play. I've pulled out probably 2k over that time but I've never had more than $700 online at any one time. I guess I can't complain. My 'hobby' has paid for itself, for a couple of laptops, a new garage door, is paying for my 60" 1080p HDTV, got me to +1 Indyfest I, and hopefully a few more things before it's all said and done. I've never made a big score, but I've never busted either. Three cheers for impotence!

In other bizarre news, Poboy has the distinct dishonor of being my twin brother. no shit. they guy could be me. Check out these 2 pictures:

I alomost feel bad for the ugly bastard.

Let's talk about Wonka for a second. Has anyone else totally lost all respect for the guy? I used to hold him in high esteem, but I think when he dissed his fellow Asian Kobayashi and jumped on the Joey Chestnut bandwagon he just lost all credibility. Plus we've all seen wonk 'eat' wings. It was an embarrassment. Ok, he didn't do TERRIBLE for a 5'6" guy considering Fritz and Donnie were absolutely manhandled by the host, but I was let down by the whole thing. I mean here's the obvious underdog at a table full of guys who buy clothes by the ream and you're thinking to yourself 'man, if this guy can pull this off...' You get gleeful (no, not gleeful), a feeling of hope wells up inside you, the eyes open wide, the pulse pounds, you hold your breath...and then he eats 3 wings for every 10 Troy downed. oh well...at least he trounced cbal at RoShamBo. Now THAT was a blogworthy dismantling. 'I'm gonna throw rock. I'm gonna throw rock, bitch. whatcha gonna do now?' Legendary psych job. Absolutely legendary.

anyway. I suck at poker.

bye

Reggae Music

when I do projects around the house I often tune my DirecTV to 'The Joint,' the XM station that plays Reggae. It's cool because I don't know the songs so I don't pay much attention. It functions as white noise with a cool beat that makes me think of coconuts and Corona commercials.

but then I started to notice something amongst the white noise. I noticed a trend, a theme if you will in the songs and decided the following (in gorgeous graph format):



It's like every song was the same unless they were covering Whitney Houston, Mott the Hoople, or Blink 182. A very bizarre genre of music.

I run bad

had doubled up on 1 $25 6max table, then lost $30 on 2 hands: QQ v AA and rivered quads over my nut flush. ouch. I run sooo bad. after that couldn't get a hand to hold and dropped another $10. yeah, its $40, but it's also about 20% of my entire roll, so it's significant.

in other (better) news, I'm having another girl in October! Stallion's wife just mailed me the ultrasound pic. I'm pretty excited since the birthday should be really close to mine. just don't tell Stallion. you know how he is about that shit and I wouldn't want a risk management consultant to get all huffy with me. heh.


ah, it's a damn good thing nobody reads this.

BOOOOOOOOOOM! Taste the Pain BP48!!!!!

got my shot at the fucker tonight. Unfortunately, he didn't have a full stack.

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 109386443
NL $25 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 21:21:26 26/06/2007 ET
Table 'Private Poker (6 Max)', 6 seats max, Real money
Seat 3 is the button. Small Blind $0.10, Big Blind $0.25
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 6
Seat 2 (playing) : Croda, amount $29.92, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 3 (playing) : Player 3, amount $26.54, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 4 (playing) : Player 4, amount $17.20, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 5 (playing) : Player 5, amount $12.44, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 6 (playing) : Player 6, amount $24.65, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Player 4: Small Blind ($0.10)
Player 5: Big Blind ($0.25)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to Croda: [Qd, Qc]
Player 6: Raise ($1)
Croda: Raise ($2.50)
Player 3: Fold
Player 4: Fold
Player 5: Raise ($12.44)
Player 6: Fold
Croda: Call ($9.94)
Croda: Show Cards ($0)
Player 5: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [6s, 6d, 5h]
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [6c]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [Qs]
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
Player 5: Show Cards ($0)
Croda: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $24.68, Rake $1.30
Summary Croda: bet $12.44, won $24.68, net $12.24, HoleCards [Qd, Qc], HiHand [a full house, queens full of sixes] [Qs, Qd, Qc, 6s, 6d], won $24.68 from main pot
Summary Player 5: bet $12.69, won $0, net $-12.69 HoleCards [Ac, Kc]


eat that mother fucker

in other news, there's a police manhunt going on in my backyard. nobody gives a shit though, especially Ferg, the guy who couldn't seal the deal with the green-haired chick. I may go out and capture the bastard myself, jmill-sty... errr...wolf-style.

BP48 is dead meat

2 hands in a row, my 1st 2 at the table.

hand 1

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 109253703
NL $25 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 18:57:08 25/06/2007 ET
Table 'Ring Game (6 Max)', 6 seats max, Real money
Seat 3 is the button. Small Blind $0.10, Big Blind $0.25
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 6
Seat 1 (playing) : Player 1, amount $18.27, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 2 (playing) : Player 2, amount $24.51, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 3 (playing) : Player 3, amount $22.65, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 4 (playing) : Player 4, amount $12.10, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 5 (playing) : Croda, amount $25, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Player 4: Small Blind ($0.10)
Croda: Big Blind ($0.25)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to Croda: [Th, Kc]
Player 1: Call ($0.25)
Player 2: Call ($0.25)
Player 3: Fold
Player 4: Call ($0.15)
Croda: Check ($0)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [9d, 4c, Ks]
Player 4: Check ($0)
Croda: Bet ($0.50)
Player 1: Fold
Player 2: Fold
Player 4: Raise ($11.85)
Croda: Fold
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
Player 4: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $13.30, Rake $0.05
Summary Player 4: bet $12.10, won $13.30, net $1.20, HoleCards [5d, 6c], HiHand [high card king] [Ks, 9d, 6c, 5d, 4c], won $13.30 from main pot

ok, fucker. you want to play that game? let's have some fun.

hand 2
not only do I get Kings my 2nd hand at the table, it's right after joe bluffsalot thinks I'm going to play back at him with trash. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 109253796
NL $25 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 18:58:00 25/06/2007 ET
Table 'Ring Game (6 Max)', 6 seats max, Real money
Seat 4 is the button. Small Blind $0.10, Big Blind $0.25
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 6
Seat 1 (playing) : Player 1, amount $18.02, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 2 (playing) : Player 2, amount $24.26, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 3 (playing) : Player 3, amount $22.65, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 4 (playing) : Player 4, amount $13.30, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 5 (playing) : Croda, amount $24.25, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Croda: Small Blind ($0.10)
Player 1: Big Blind ($0.25)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to Croda: [Kd, Ks]
Player 2: Fold
Player 3: Fold
Player 4: Raise ($0.75)
Croda: Raise ($2)
Player 1: Fold
Player 4: Call ($1.25)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [5h, 9c, Tc]
Croda: Bet ($2)
Player 4: Raise ($11.30)
Croda: Call ($9.30)
Player 4: Show Cards ($0)
Croda: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [4c]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [9s]
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
Croda: Show Cards ($0)
Player 4: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $25.55, Rake $1.30
Summary Player 4: bet $13.30, won $25.55, net $12.25, HoleCards [Jc, Kc], HiHand [a flush, king high] [Kc, Jc, Tc, 9c, 4c], won $25.55 from main pot
Summary Croda: bet $13.40, won $0, net $-13.40, HoleCards [Kd, Ks]


so fucking gay.

2 hands later, he leaves the table.
not a happy Croda

Dear Diary

Awesome.

My first blog post.

There's something very strange about writing something that few people, if anyone, will likely read. I'm sitting here at work bored out of my gourd and decided to create this to pass the time. Plus, I feel totally left out of the blogging that's going on amongst my e-friends.

Incredible story (not incredible in the slightest):

Playing $25 6-max on WPX Sat Night, the following occurs.

Some Finnish guy named HIIRI sits down and proceeds to raise 4 out of the next 5 hands.

Shortly, the following takes place. Some dude named Back_Like_Cooked_Crack makes it .75, Hiiri makes is 4.50, Crack jams. I type in the chat box 'call Gus call' basically taunting the Finnish guy.

so hiiri folds, and Crack guy accuses me of colluding saying 'you told him to call. you're on a first name basis with hiiri'

'yeah, he's my long lost cousin from Finland'

so we go back and forth all night about how he doesn't like me and is going to report for for collusion. made me laugh and I still haven't heard anything from WPX so I guess it's no big deal.



another thing, GremlinJones doesn't seem to like my pirate bar. I'm not sure what he has against Pirates, but considering he rolls queers, you'd think he'd be down. I think it was him that rolled the queers, could have been another guy. I get all the guys who started since fulton confused anyway.


ok, that's the end of post 1. maybe I'll blog more later cuz I'm cracking myself up.