Gall Bladders and Sonsofbitches

God dammit I really fucking hate playing poker. what an evil fucking game. see, we have this love/hate thing going. I love to play. people love it when I play. then later I hate playing.

Full Tilt No-Limit Hold'em, $0.25 BB (6 handed) Full Tilt Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: HTML)

MP ($48.65)
CO ($26.30)
Button ($24.65)
Hero ($32.80)
BB ($8)
UTG ($25)

Preflop: Hero is SB with 4d, 4s.
MP raises to $0.75, 2 folds, Hero calls $0.65, 1 fold.

Flop: ($1.75) 4c, 2s, 6h (3 players)
Hero checks, MP bets $1, Hero calls $1.

Turn: ($3.75) 7s (3 players)
Hero checks, MP bets $2, SB raises to $8, MP raises to $16, SB raises to $39.05 (All-In), MP calls $17.05.

River: ($69.85) Jd (3 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: $75.85


seriously. wtf?
when god wants to know why I don't believe in him, point him back to this hand. gay ass shit fucking cock loving shit ass fucking shit. fuck! hate this game. hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.

in other news, I'm going ghost hunting tomorrow night in Gettysburg. this will likely be the lame-lamiest thing I ever do, but whatever. I've actually put a lot of thought into where I want to go, and what I want to do? oh, you want to know? well SURE I'll tell you all about it. see, here's the plan...

the Triangular field south of Devil's Den is supposedly very 'active.' Active means has loads of paranormal activity. Paranormal means shit you can't explain. so basically, it's very full of wierd shit.

awesome.

this field saw 2 regiments from Georgia and 1 from Texas take sizeable losses before pushing back the Union line on the top of the hill. The fighting was brutal. Like double cannister upside your head brutal. so the plan is to go check it out. I've seen the field a million times and never once set foot on it. so I have the cameras ready to walk out in this field in the dark and see if I can talk to someone from the old 1st Texas.

yes, I'm likely an idiot.

the bad news is that Harry can't go. Harry's a guy who works for me. Harry believes in everything. I'm pretty sure he has a web page he can pull up that proves that the Tooth Fairy is real. Every conspiracy. Every legend. Everything. Harry built a 'Frank's Box,' also known as the 'Telephone to the Dead.' it's a radio that is on eternal scan and supposedly makes it easier for 'spirits' to talk to the living. I'm all for it being total crap, but I was very interested in seeing it in action. unfortunately Harry's gall bladder had better things to do. Namely, get yanked from Harry's abdomen. So Harry's out. if he kicks off, he better leave me the damned telephone so I can ask him questions about some work he hasn't finished yet.

I'm so torn on this Ghost Hunting too. it sounds really cool, then it sounds absurd, then it sounds intriguing again. I think I've fought for so long to suppress my inner geek, that it bothers me when the little bastard peeks out and people get to look at him and laugh. oh well...if I get video of me shooting the shit with a line of dead Johnny Rebs, I'm sure the Enquirer will be all over my ass.

will I update the blog after the hunt? who knows...its been 9 months since my last update. besides, nobody reads this shit.

Scam Update

I need to keep tight tabs on my wins/losses for my backers, so here's a scam update for everyone who's interested (the list is long and distinguished, I'm sure).

since the transfer on Thursday, 7/19:

$25-6: 408 hands, 27/17/9, +$31.89

$50-6: 172 hands, 22/14/5.5, +$40.85

My WTSD is pretty low on both at 16% and 15% respectively, but my W$SD is pretty solid at 41% and 86% (obv this won't hold).

I get a feeling now how bad live 1/2 is. $50-6 has to be the same animal. absolutely atrocious poker. it's wonderful. I actually played a guy last night that as SOOOOOO poor, I fired a 3-barrel bluff on him with Q-high because I was absolutely sure he'd fold the river, and he did.

I'll keep posting hands for analysis in the NL section. I have a few, but I'm tired now and off to the beach in the morning, so no poker until Monday night. sigh...

if anyone who threw in wants more info, HHs, or anything, just ask. I'm an open book right now.

If I ever write a movie script (which I have every interest in doing and not one iota of the ambition) it's going to be about 2 bad guys who do bad things. The bad guys will be awesome and I already have them cast:

Wes Studi and Billy Drago

Wes Studi is best known as Magwa, the psycho killer indian in Last of the Mohicans. Billy Drago was the psycho killer Italian in The Untouchables, the psycho killer Colombian Drug Lord in Delta Force 2, and the generic psycho killer bad guy in Invastion USA.

Seriously the complete and utter baddassishness and hell-wrecking the two of them could lay on the world is astounding. Simply awefuckingsome.

In the movie the two of them will likely drive around in a Z-28 with Uzis and shoot old ladies. They might even hold up a Wal-Mart because I fucking hate Wal-Mart. I also want Wes Studi to rock some old School Muddy Waters.

I have a tough time seeing how any movie could touch this in badassery. I'll probably add a squad of Russian cyborg terrorists as well, that way the Wes and Billy can fuck up the Cyborgs and end the movie with everyone loving them. After the credits roll, they'll take off in the Z-28 and shoot an old lady in a walker and both give the camera a Devilish Wink.

I'm shitting myself thinking about this. So damned awesome... Find ideas like THIS in The +1er, you will not.

There's lots of reason for excitement at Crodafied these days. Let's enumerate them:

1) Sucko and Stoner running well at the ME. Sucko's had one small lapse and the poker gods keep trying to fuck stoner with his own ponytail, but he's dodged bullet after bullet and still has a good stack to work from. Crodafied's proud of it's brethren and will be adding links to their blogs here shortly.

2) A large number of people have contributed to a fund to stake yours truly at some 25$ and $50 NL. this is one helluva gesture and I fully intend to tear the heavens down upon my adversaries to honor this.

3) The proprietor of The +1er seems to think this is a copycat blog. Rubbish! Poppycock! Comparing the content of the two makes it plain that we blog about all manner of ridiculousness while The +1er contains itself to one strict type of ridiculousness. If you haven't checked out The +1er lately, you should. It's got its amusing parts, but lets be honest...it can't hold a candle.

blog days of summer

Catchy title, eh? I came up with it myself. What's funny about it is that it rhymes with 'dog days of summer' except I used blog...in a blog! Fucking tits, baby.

Poker News:

I suck ass. Royally. People catch on me. I don't catch on them. Somehow I've managed to turn a $50 deposit nearly 3 yrs ago into, well, 3 yrs of play. I've pulled out probably 2k over that time but I've never had more than $700 online at any one time. I guess I can't complain. My 'hobby' has paid for itself, for a couple of laptops, a new garage door, is paying for my 60" 1080p HDTV, got me to +1 Indyfest I, and hopefully a few more things before it's all said and done. I've never made a big score, but I've never busted either. Three cheers for impotence!

In other bizarre news, Poboy has the distinct dishonor of being my twin brother. no shit. they guy could be me. Check out these 2 pictures:

I alomost feel bad for the ugly bastard.

Let's talk about Wonka for a second. Has anyone else totally lost all respect for the guy? I used to hold him in high esteem, but I think when he dissed his fellow Asian Kobayashi and jumped on the Joey Chestnut bandwagon he just lost all credibility. Plus we've all seen wonk 'eat' wings. It was an embarrassment. Ok, he didn't do TERRIBLE for a 5'6" guy considering Fritz and Donnie were absolutely manhandled by the host, but I was let down by the whole thing. I mean here's the obvious underdog at a table full of guys who buy clothes by the ream and you're thinking to yourself 'man, if this guy can pull this off...' You get gleeful (no, not gleeful), a feeling of hope wells up inside you, the eyes open wide, the pulse pounds, you hold your breath...and then he eats 3 wings for every 10 Troy downed. oh well...at least he trounced cbal at RoShamBo. Now THAT was a blogworthy dismantling. 'I'm gonna throw rock. I'm gonna throw rock, bitch. whatcha gonna do now?' Legendary psych job. Absolutely legendary.

anyway. I suck at poker.

bye

Reggae Music

when I do projects around the house I often tune my DirecTV to 'The Joint,' the XM station that plays Reggae. It's cool because I don't know the songs so I don't pay much attention. It functions as white noise with a cool beat that makes me think of coconuts and Corona commercials.

but then I started to notice something amongst the white noise. I noticed a trend, a theme if you will in the songs and decided the following (in gorgeous graph format):



It's like every song was the same unless they were covering Whitney Houston, Mott the Hoople, or Blink 182. A very bizarre genre of music.

I run bad

had doubled up on 1 $25 6max table, then lost $30 on 2 hands: QQ v AA and rivered quads over my nut flush. ouch. I run sooo bad. after that couldn't get a hand to hold and dropped another $10. yeah, its $40, but it's also about 20% of my entire roll, so it's significant.

in other (better) news, I'm having another girl in October! Stallion's wife just mailed me the ultrasound pic. I'm pretty excited since the birthday should be really close to mine. just don't tell Stallion. you know how he is about that shit and I wouldn't want a risk management consultant to get all huffy with me. heh.


ah, it's a damn good thing nobody reads this.